The Diary Of A CEO with Steven Bartlett

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Thursday, 10 April 2025 - 2 hours 10 minutes

Can you make someone like you in seconds? Vanessa Van Edwards returns with the science-backed secrets of dating and likeability - tested in real-life dating scenarios for the very first time. 

Vanessa Van Edwards is the founder of ‘Science of People’, a platform that gives people skills to improve communication and leadership. She is also the bestselling author of ‘Captivate: The Science of Succeeding with People’ and ‘Cues: Master the Secret Language of Charismatic Communication’.

00:00 Intro

03:02 How Important Is It to Master the Skill of Communication?

03:33 Are We Set in Our Ways? Is Charisma Genetic?

04:18 Different Types of Awkwardness in People

04:53 How to Make Friends – The 3 Core Friendship Values

06:37 How Do You Figure Out Your Core Friendship Values?

07:34 How Many People Has Vanessa Taught These Skills? And What Do They Want?

08:18 First Impressions

10:24 Profile Pictures

14:10 Add Cues for a Better First Impression

15:28 How Sunglasses Block Connection

16:21 More Good Cues for First Impressions

16:54 How Do I Make a Really Bad First Impression?

18:30 What We Need to Signal to Express Warmth

21:27 Breaking the Script

23:19 Master Communicators and the "Chemical Cocktail"

28:11 Online First Impressions

29:11 Be the Red Apple

30:17 How to Make an Impression on Zoom

32:08 The Story Toolbox

35:07 How Important Is Background on Zoom?

36:29 Where to Look on Zoom Calls

37:16 Date Experiments

43:09 Drivers and Passengers in Conversation

44:23 Micro Wins

45:05 Body Language That Indicates Attraction

49:35 Why Busyness Is Not a Mark of Success

51:16 The Jam Study – Too Many Choices

52:12 Prioritizing Self-Care Over Connection

53:08 Dating Checklists

54:23 Do We Get More Numb the More We Date?

55:32 Two Challenges If You're in a Funk or Feeling Lonely

58:26 Steve Being a Control Freak

01:00:14 Networking Events

01:00:55 Ads

01:09:20 Using the Word "Because" as a Leader

01:11:01 How Do We Know If Someone Likes Us?

01:14:20 What If You're Not a Funny Person?

01:16:09 Can You Learn to Be Funny?

01:16:57 Touch

01:18:10 Hacks for Being Funny

01:19:36 Channeling Other People

01:20:36 Microexpressions

01:21:37 Reading Fear in People's Faces

01:23:24 Seeing Disgust in People's Faces

01:25:09 How to Tell If Someone Is Angry Without Them Saying It

01:27:05 How to Tell When Someone Is Truly Happy

01:28:49 How to Tell If Someone Is Sad Even If They Don’t Say It

01:31:03 How to Tell If Someone Is Surprised

01:32:33 How to Tell If Someone Has Contempt Toward You

01:35:23 Can and Should We Change Our Personalities?

01:37:20 Steve's Personality Traits

01:38:49 Making Your New Partner Take a Personality Test

01:41:20 Conscientious People

01:57:05 Do Extroverts Have Better Immunity?

01:58:04 Personality Traits of Lifelong Singles

01:59:57 Should We Know Other People's Personality Types When We Meet Them?

02:01:38 Feeling Like the Vibe Is Off

02:03:31 What Are You Doing to Serve Others

Follow Vanessa: 

Instagram - https://g2ul0.app.link/4i5lvOnaqSb 

Website - https://g2ul0.app.link/6KQtfyqaqSb 

You can find out more about Vanessa’s personality test, here: https://g2ul0.app.link/SnXJL6ntqSb 

You can purchase Vanessa’s book, ‘Cues: Master the Secret Language of Charismatic Communication’, here: https://g2ul0.app.link/L0YqrVvaqSb 

Watch the episodes on Youtube - https://g2ul0.app.link/DOACEpisodes 

You can purchase the The Diary Of A CEO Conversation Cards: Second Edition, here: https://g2ul0.app.link/f31dsUttKKb 

Sign up to receive email updates about Diary Of A CEO here: https://bit.ly/diary-of-a-ceo-yt 

Ready to think like a CEO? Gain access to the 100 CEOs newsletter here: https://bit.ly/100-ceos-newsletter 

Follow me:

https://g2ul0.app.link/gnGqL4IsKKb 

Sponsors:

Get your hands on the Diary Of A CEO Conversation Cards here: https://bit.ly/conversationcards-mp

Linkedin Jobs - https://www.linkedin.com/doac

ZOE - http://joinzoe.com with code BARTLETT10 for 10% off

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